Parenting....or something like it!
This post is long but bear with me. I was on a parenting roller coaster this week; I went from feeling I failed as parent to thinking I was the greatest Mom ever. As parents we want what is best for our children and we would do almost anything to ensure their happiness. I've learned we have to be very careful in how we approach certain subjects with our children because the wrong message can be sent quite easily.
My eldest son, Chase, is almost 9 years old. The summer before he started grade one I noticed that his feet looked different than other kids his age. Chase frequently complained of sore legs and always seemed to lag behind his friends walking or running. Family members chalked up the sore legs to "growing pains" but with further research I decided there was something not quite right about the look of my son's feet. Take a look for yourself.
After seeking medical advice it was decided that his feet over-pronated and this could be corrected by getting custom made orthotics. We could have done nothing but wearing the orthotics could help with some of the soreness in his legs after activities and also prevent joint injury and problems in the future. I tried to make the doctor's appointments and getting orthotics as normal as possible. He would bring up the fact that he couldn't run as fast as the other kids but I always told him that it didn't matter and he just needed to try his best.
So, where am I going with this.....well keep reading.
A couple weeks ago, my middle son, Karson came home from school with the exciting news he had joined the running club. One of the teacher's at the school organizes a running group that completes a "marathon". The running group's goal is to complete a marathon by running one kilometre each day for 42 days. This sounded fabulous to me because it promotes physical activity and also encourages the students to complete an individual goal through planning and implementation. I told Karson how great it was that he was participating but couldn't help see Chase behind him with his head down. I knew Chase had worries about running so when we were alone I asked him if he had decided to join the school running group. He said, "No, I can't run. I have orthotics." I immediately though that I had scarred this kid forever with my parenting attempts to "fix his feet". I began back pedalling and panicking. I tried to explain that that didn't mean he couldn't run, it just meant he wore orthotics in his shoes, just like someone wears a knee brace to protect a knee injury...... I quickly realized this wasn't helping so I let it go.
The following saturday, I went to Chase and told him that I understood why he didn't want to join the running group and that I was fine with it. I then went on to tell him that having to wear orthotics does not mean he cannot participate in running activities and it doesn't mean he can't be a runner. I also explained that running is not about being the fastest or even competing in races; people run for exercise and to be healthy. I asked him if he would do the "marathon" running at home with me and we could run or walk together and complete the 42 km. He quickly agreed.
Saturday we headed out for our first 1 km together. Much to his surprise he ran the whole way and even found it "easy".
Sunday it was raining so we skipped that day.
Monday and Tuesday he came running off the bus asking if we could go running. We went.
Wednesday he came running off the bus to tell me he joined the running group at school. Inside I was beaming but I really didn't want to make a big deal out of it just in case he was doing it for my benefit. I told him that I thought that was a great idea. Once everything was quiet in the house, I went to him and asked what made him change his mind about running? He simply said, "I thought I couldn't run but now I know I can." I almost cried.
The boys all needed new running shoes for spring so we ventured to town this weekend for haircuts and new running shoes. Chase picked out these shoes.
Throughout this week I was convinced I was teaching Chase a valuable lesson about patience, perseverance and courage. After much contemplation I have realized the lesson was for me. Thanks Chase.
My eldest son, Chase, is almost 9 years old. The summer before he started grade one I noticed that his feet looked different than other kids his age. Chase frequently complained of sore legs and always seemed to lag behind his friends walking or running. Family members chalked up the sore legs to "growing pains" but with further research I decided there was something not quite right about the look of my son's feet. Take a look for yourself.
After seeking medical advice it was decided that his feet over-pronated and this could be corrected by getting custom made orthotics. We could have done nothing but wearing the orthotics could help with some of the soreness in his legs after activities and also prevent joint injury and problems in the future. I tried to make the doctor's appointments and getting orthotics as normal as possible. He would bring up the fact that he couldn't run as fast as the other kids but I always told him that it didn't matter and he just needed to try his best.
So, where am I going with this.....well keep reading.
A couple weeks ago, my middle son, Karson came home from school with the exciting news he had joined the running club. One of the teacher's at the school organizes a running group that completes a "marathon". The running group's goal is to complete a marathon by running one kilometre each day for 42 days. This sounded fabulous to me because it promotes physical activity and also encourages the students to complete an individual goal through planning and implementation. I told Karson how great it was that he was participating but couldn't help see Chase behind him with his head down. I knew Chase had worries about running so when we were alone I asked him if he had decided to join the school running group. He said, "No, I can't run. I have orthotics." I immediately though that I had scarred this kid forever with my parenting attempts to "fix his feet". I began back pedalling and panicking. I tried to explain that that didn't mean he couldn't run, it just meant he wore orthotics in his shoes, just like someone wears a knee brace to protect a knee injury...... I quickly realized this wasn't helping so I let it go.
The following saturday, I went to Chase and told him that I understood why he didn't want to join the running group and that I was fine with it. I then went on to tell him that having to wear orthotics does not mean he cannot participate in running activities and it doesn't mean he can't be a runner. I also explained that running is not about being the fastest or even competing in races; people run for exercise and to be healthy. I asked him if he would do the "marathon" running at home with me and we could run or walk together and complete the 42 km. He quickly agreed.
Saturday we headed out for our first 1 km together. Much to his surprise he ran the whole way and even found it "easy".
Sunday it was raining so we skipped that day.
Monday and Tuesday he came running off the bus asking if we could go running. We went.
Wednesday he came running off the bus to tell me he joined the running group at school. Inside I was beaming but I really didn't want to make a big deal out of it just in case he was doing it for my benefit. I told him that I thought that was a great idea. Once everything was quiet in the house, I went to him and asked what made him change his mind about running? He simply said, "I thought I couldn't run but now I know I can." I almost cried.
The boys all needed new running shoes for spring so we ventured to town this weekend for haircuts and new running shoes. Chase picked out these shoes.
Throughout this week I was convinced I was teaching Chase a valuable lesson about patience, perseverance and courage. After much contemplation I have realized the lesson was for me. Thanks Chase.
Comments
Post a Comment